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From Section 8 Housing To A Blended Family : How We Make It Work


The majority of people watching or reading my blog are regular people mother's, sisters, who may have a big family or come from a large family. Over the years I am very much aware it is almost routine to be apart of a step or blended family. And trust me I've had a lot of experience blending our family together.
Heart To Heart
The majority of people watching or reading my blog are regular people mother's, sisters, who may have a big family or come from a large family. Over the years I am very much aware it is almost routine to be apart of a step or blended family. And trust me I've had a lot of experience blending our family together. 

As a child, I never clicked well with outside people being in or near our home. So, I never gave any thought to it when I was having my children that one day I would have to face the fact of merging our families together.
Who knew there was no parenting rule book for me or for generations before me. Nowadays its almost normal to have a stepbrother or sister. Somehow I feel its more comfortable to have stepsiblings than parents. I am often asked how I do it with my family and the merging of them together.

Unfortunately, I never thought about sharing this part until now. 
Quite frankly most people including myself never discuss the mixing of families. 
It may be because it is much easier to jump into a relationship and move forward with the family matters. 

Who knew there was no parenting rule book for me or for generations before me. Nowadays its almost normal to have a stepbrother or sister. Somehow I feel its more comfortable to have stepsiblings than parents. I am often asked how I do it with my family and the merging of them together.
If you are struggling with blending and mixing your family, trust me you are not alone. I have several tips that may inspire you to believe again. 
First, I met Rico (my now husband in college). There is no long story except he was younger and had no kids. I was older with three kids. Ummm yeah not matched at all, so I thought. 

Long, long story short, we dated a few times, before I introduced him to my three small kids., Please note my kids did not want him around at first. 

I have later discovered it was because I made so many bad choices in my life and honestly they felt he was going to destroy the little home we just got comfortable into. It was a tiny apartment in section 8 low-income housing, but it was our home. And they did not want anyone to come to move in and take over. I understood my choices in life were not always the best ones of all. And most of them cost my babies a lot of pain moving from place to place.

It was safe for them because I was no longer in an unfortunate place in my life. In other words, I could pay my own bills including rent. 

So, my girls were more of a protector, and they did want no man around. We laugh about it now because that was our reality.
Moving forward when Rico asked me to marry him, I knew we had to have the family talk.



It was a scary moment when I sat the girls down to tell them that I was in love with a man. We cried like babies, but my now husband assured them he was here to stay and make their lives better. 

I was a single mom with children that ranged from ages 4, 7, and 10 so my hands were full. Their biological dads are in their lives, but they were mainly my responsibility. So, I needed to find a sensible way to make a better life experience with my girls and the man who wanted to marry me. I had a lot to prove to myself and to my kids which was my first priority. 


It took a lot of time and prayer, but they warmed up to Rico. By the time I had our first child together (Chloe), it was beginning to feel like a family. We bought a home and propelled forward. No more sleeping on the floor or low-income living. Now I prefer more budget living. :)

As I look back on it now, I had to tread lightly as the mom of children.

In other words, I did not want my girls to feel left out. I was super happy to finally have settled down to enjoy the love for once in my life.
Now with having more children on the way, things had to be closed in to create our family lifestyle. 

I tried not to leave my girls out of anything Rico, and I did. He was very supportive. They went on every date we ever took and vacation. It's funny because when he married me, he married my girls also. When things got better for me, it got even better for the girls. Oh, they loved their new life. But it was a process:

  • It took time: We never pressured them to like or even love him. Before I knew it, they were his best little buddies. Over time he became their dad, and that is who they call for everything. My girls love Rico.
  • When the new baby came, the girls got a prominent role in helping. They never saw her as different because they became overprotective of their new little doll. Now they are best buds, and I hear the oldest trying to explain real life to the younger ones.
  • As the girls got older, we were able to explain to them about having different dads, but they are sisters. Yes, we had to have that talk; unfortunately, most people never talk about that, and when problems arise, later no one knows what to do, including me.
  • I had to be honest with my kids, I've made some mistakes in life, but they weren't a mishap. Also, I was not a responsible young woman. Nonetheless, it was time to explain to my children a little about my past. It was not easy at all. If I could have crawled into a rabbits hole, I would have. It took a lot of explaining, but we made it through. My life was so broken, and I almost gave up many times. Ultimately I am glad I let love in so my girls can see how they should be treated. I am learning every day how to be a better version of the woman that lives in me.
In Conclusion: If I could change any parts of my life, I wouldn't do it. I would only change the sad days and times, but never my kids or the choice to put it all on the line to marry my best friend, Rico.

Blending families together is hard, but I now know it can be done. And over time you will not see a mixed family but a life of peace, love, and joy. If we can make it work so can YOU! Any more questions, please leave below and I will get back to you asap. Please note I do not have everything in life, but I do have a happy healthy and whole blended family.

Until Next Time See Ya In A Bit!

xoxo Tangie

Thank you God for keeping me through it all: I made it.





8 comments

  1. Theres nothing like a blended family and most Americans live this truth daily! I am so glad you are shedding a light on this because this is what a typical family looks like in 2018!

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    1. So true at the end of the day, most families are blended one way or another. But it is about finding our balance so it can work.

      Love ya!
      xo Tangie

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  2. This this was very inspirational yet true many people skip out on the talks of becoming blended! By doing so, it ensures a clear understanding! By giving answers to the questions that arises so that their isn’t any confusion... love this

    God Bless

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    1. Thank you and good point on discussing so there isn't any confusion.
      Thanks again!
      o xTangie

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  3. THIS!!! Thank you Ms. Tangie for addressing this just even at surface level because you're right most people don't really talk about their blended family. And even further than that a lot of people don't include the children in the decision to blend the family! I feel that is so very important in making things work! I do have some other questions but I'll save those for later!

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    1. It is apart of life that can be told in bits. It takes work to blend a family but God can heal pain and put together new families. It is a tough subject but it more common than ever. Thanks for commenting. Have a good day!

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  4. I love your blog sooo much, what a very inspirational story

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