Joyful Bits

I Thought Jada Pinkett Smith Was Lying About Crying 45 Days Until It Happened To Me!

Image: Tangie Bell sitting down and sharing her midlife crisis story. I Thought Jada Pinkett Smith Was Lying About Crying 45 Days Until It Happened To Me! #beingfortysomething
I Thought Jada Pinkett Smith Was Lying About Crying 45 Days Until It Happened To Me!

Can we get candid about being forty-something or just aging in general? I will admit this was a hard and brief post to make. 
But, I want to share something that we as women flat out do not want to talk about
A few weekends ago, I broke down and cried for several days straight. No matter how my husband and my daughters prayed and tried to help me, I couldn't catch my breathe and make sense of what was happening to me.
There is something funny about life, and I had to learn that quickly. When someone is going or has gone through something, be careful how you sit back and judge. #notetoself

Ok, I will fast forward. A while back, I saw an episode of Red Table Talk, with Jada Pinkett Smith, her mom, daughter, and Will Smith.

Red Table is where Jada sits down with her family and talks about real-life things that have happened to her or others. 
Their conversations get deep at the table.  

Image: Being Forty Something:White table and chairs outside: Picture taken by Tangie Bell. seen first on bits and babbles blog. I Thought Jada Pinkett Smith Was Lying About Crying 45 Days Until It Happened To Me!
One day I caught Jada and Will sharing how she cried for 45 days every morning when she turned 40.  It was her mid-life crisis at that moment, and she couldn't explain it at all. 
I remember doing a client's hair when I said she lying, that's not true, and 40 is too young for a mid breakdown.
Before any of you scold me, I already know that was the dumbest thing I could have ever spoken out loud.
I can honestly say I biasedly based that on when I turned 40, I never cried for that long at all. I was afraid and scared a little bit. But, now I am looking at the doors of 50 cracking open. I am not there yet, but in a few years. 

I am getting ready to celebrate my next milestone, and I will be sharing that age and date at a later time. 

Image: Tangie Bell sitting outside in black dress, polka dot scarf, and sharing her story about midlife crying. I Thought Jada Pinkett Smith Was Lying About Crying 45 Days Until It Happened To Me! #beingfortysomething

 But, first, I had to share my weekend of not eating sleeping and crying for days. I now know I was having my first real mid-life breakdown. I couldn't stop crying, and I just wanted to be in my bed and sleep.

 I didn't want any help or phone calls from anyone at all. Usually, my husband can make me happy with a plate of shrimp and a bowl of collard greens. But that didn't make me smile one bit.

There is no explanation for having a day of varying, and sometimes there is no real life-changing explanation.

But then, about day four, I had to leave my house, and I remember getting up and walking around, just looking at stuff. Everyone was asleep, so I cried some more and prayed out loud. 

I was angry about something, and no one understood. My third oldest child, Kamoriae, kept coming into my room, telling me stories about aging and cures. I think she was looking at hacks from WEb MD.
My daughter kept saying mommy get up and move around, people are going through all over the world. Why you crying? You have everything, so what is wrong? 

Then I saw Red Table talk again, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Jada went through her mid-crisis at 40, and I officially just went through mine recently. For some reason, I thought I missed that era because it didn't hit me at 45 or 46.

My family and I just learned Midlife meltdowns can hit at any time after 40 and beyond.

Although my family didn't know why I was crying, deep down, I really did know.

It took a week before I was able to talk with anyone, and here's what I shared.

I feel as though I am more than halfway through life. The clock is ticking, and I can't stop it.

For some reason, I started looking way into my future instead of the moment. For the first time, I had to admit to myself and to my family, I really am afraid to have a birthday this year. Because it really does mean I am turning over another leaf.

I'm not a cry baby, but this new birthday season was making me sad and grumpy. 
Surprisingly the days I spent boohooing actually helped. Yep, it may have been wasted time, but I was able to share with my loved ones what I was going through.

I wouldn't wish a middle life crisis on no one. But, I will never say again, another woman is lying about how she feels during her crisis.

As my doctor expressed to me, some women can have a breakdown and cry for days and some for months. It just depends on the person and their support team. 

Thank God, I was not alone, and I did get the help that was needed. 
With my birthday coming soon, I now know I need to pay close attention to what upsets me. So, I can nip it in the bud and move forward faster.

By the time you guys see this post, I would have propelled toward something else. But, I will be back with more results as I roll on through the middle of my life. 

Have you ever cried for long periods at any age?  Did you know why you were crying? 

No matter the reason, just know you are not alone.

Until Next Time See Ya In A Bit!

xo Tangie

P.S All my daughters and my husband played a big part in my healing. Thank you guys for understanding and hanging in there. :)


  1. I once cried for a few months after college because I didn't know what I was doing with my life but I eventually got over it! Sometimes I do have moments when I start to think about all of lifes changes but I have learned to cry it out and let myself roll with the motions!

    1. So true and so thankful for all my family:) #rollingon

      xo tangie


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